Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

Some of the ways you noticed that homophobia and heterosexism permeate the world of young children including books, movies, toys, stores, culture of early childhood centers, and school.

It is very obvious that when one looks at traditional children's stories and literature it is predominately heterosexual stereotypes and no examples of same sex marriages or parents. I recently taught a young boy that was adopted and had two fathers. He was a black boy and his parents were Jewish, white males. The village where we live is very liberal and multi cultural and they are an integrated part of our community. However having said that they still face daily criticism and questioning from ignorant people. I have tried to look for literature that depicts same sex marriages and adopted children or biological children within these families. Having this boy in my class also made me look closer at my own teaching environment and I realized that I needed to present more examples of different types of families. The home corner needed dolls with colour and not only white dolls. I tried to encourage boys to feel comfortable with roles that they would usually characterize as female roles.

Your response to those who believe that early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families.

I am pleased to say this is not something that I have dealt with first hand. I can well imagine the scenario though. I am ashamed to say that I have family members that are extremely homophobic. I also have family members that are in life long same sex marriages.  I feel that if I were faced with this issue I would take the time to sit with these parents and explain the very stereotypes and biases that we as Educators are trying to avoid in young children. I feel that the world is full of different individuals with different sexual and life style choices. We are not at liberty to judge the choices of others nor can we say that the choices that we have made are exclusively the correct ones. I feel that by exposing young children to all different types of families and loving relationships, they can only evolve as tolerant and non judgmental people. We as adults can learn a lot from young children. We are quick to judge and see things black and white where as children often won't question scenarios and will accept things far easier. They are born pure and without prior judgments and as Educators I believe it is our duty to nurture that attitude and encourage tolerance and respect. Again I will make reference to South Africa and how things have changed so much in the past two decades since our precious late Nelson Mandela freed our country of Apartheid. Not only did racial boundaries breakdown but gay rights came to the forefront and for this I am very proud of our nation.

Reference

Video: Laureate Education (Producer). (n.d.). Start seeing diversity: Gender [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu

 Building Team and Collaboration

Being an expat family we have lived in different communities and been part of different school groups. In the International schooling world there is a big turnover of families and teachers alike. The school is often a safe haven place for expat families to come together and many different groups are formed. While teaching I have always been part of some group or another. Often a group of the same grade level or a work group regarding a particular subject or topic at the school. The most recent group was the group of festivities. We would make sure that every festival and holiday was recognized and celebrated.  I have had to experience many adjourning stages in the different groups that I have a part of. Either I have left the school or members of the group have left or changed groups.

Usually the adjourning stage is the disbanding of the team when the task is achieved (O’hair&Wiemann, 2012). I have also experienced groups breaking up before the conclusion of the task was reached. It felt easier and more natural when the conclusion was reached and we could embark on the adjourning stage as a closure to the project. Often when living abroad your connections with colleagues are stronger and closer due to a lack of your own familiar circles and support. These groups can therefore often be closer and more intense. I found it hard to see members leave when they had to move on.

During the process of this project there is a norming stage where the team starts to work cohesively together with respect and support (Abudi, 2010).  Not all groups work together cohesively, so when you find a group that does it can be hard to see it break up.  

When I taught in Amsterdam, before I had my children, I was part of an amazing group of teachers. I was leader of an early childhood team and we all contributed with passion and enthusiasm. We had so much respect for one another and I can say that I have ever experienced that kind of cohesive atmosphere in another work group since. Even though ti was 13 years ago we have managed to keep in touch and often have inspiring conversations that motivate me as a teacher. Even though I had to say good bye physically to this group I have managed to keep in touch informally.

I do not like goodbyes and closing off things but I do feel that they are good for closure and moving on. The most recent I experienced was when I left the compound we lived at in Indonesia. The compound was no longer going to have expats working there and was closing the school down after 50 years. They made it a beautiful celebration of time and history. They celebrated the local staff that had worked there for many years and also the got in touch with people that were young students there in the 70’s. There was a lot of good food, music, dancing and festivities. I plan to write an entry to say good bye and thank you to all my fellow students that been such a support throughout this course.

The adjourning phase is something that needs to be taken seriously and not skipped over. The leader of the group needs to keep this mind and make sure that this phase is done properly. Closure is important for everyone.

References

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved on February 10,     2014 from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Non Violent Communication  

I generally try to avoid conflict as much as I can, however there are often times where you can’t.  Last month I was in a staff meeting and we were discussing adopting a new math curriculum. I am fairly new to the school so do not know the history of the previous math programs that have been tried. When I made a suggestion based on a scheme I had taught in the past I was spoken to harshly by a colleague who had obviously had a negative experience with the same scheme. Immediately I went into shut down mode and felt very offended. After having read about Nonviolent Communication I can see how my response, or lack of I should say, is not effective. Instead of being so offended I should have merely asked her what was troubling her and why she felt that way towards the scheme.  The key to Nonviolent Communication is to define one another’s needs clearly before engaging further. Had I asked my colleague what her experience had been and tried to learn from her instead of taking offense and shutting down, I may have resolved an unnecessary dispute. After having asked clearly about why she felt that way I should have then taken the time to tell her how I felt and my reasons for supporting the math scheme. By using an “I” statement I could have told her “I have a positive experience with this scheme and would like the opportunity to share it in this meeting.”

I feel that many conflicts are due to misunderstandings with one another (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012). I am not a big fan of social media and although I do enjoy the convenience of communication now days, I also see the threat of miscommunication. With instant messages these days there are often things that are read in the wrong tone and misunderstood. We have a parent’s group chat that has caused a lot of issues at school, due to these reasons.

I think that I also am guilty of often assuming things based on emotions and previous experiences, rather than asking for clarity from the person I am communicating with.

References

      The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Looking At Myself As A Communicator

This week was a real eye-opener for me. I enjoyed doing the tests and having to answer brutally honestly about the way that I communicate. I chose my sister and my mother to do the test on me. They were concerned at first on how they should answer and realized that some of the answers they did not know about me – like public speaking. I feel like I had the opportunity to look closer at how I interact with others and how they perceive me. I have always been aware of the importance of a first impression but there is a lot more to communication that follows. I feel that I have gained a lot of insight into myself and how other perceive me. I plan to have a colleague do the test as well, but we have just moved school buildings and my colleagues are so over worked at the moment. I feel that I gained good insight into communication and also how other perceive me as a communicator.

I also realized that first impressions are very important and that is something to take into account when meeting new families. Practicing effective self-monitoring (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012). 

It surprised me that my sisters scores were all slightly different to my mothers, I realized that I do communicate very differently with her – she is my little sister and I have always treated her more like a daughter than a sister. My goal is to be more confident in communication when it comes to things that I may disagree with or may be a source of conflict. I am always very aware of offending someone or causing bad feelings. I need to find a balanced way to communicate my differences with others without insecurity. I also realized that I am a different communicator with my family to how I am at work. I adapt to the situation and communicate accordingly. Through self-presentation one can present themselves to different audiences (O’Hair&Wiemann, 2012).

         

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

CULTURAL DIVERSITY

I live in Holland, a kind of home away from home for me. I work at an International school, where my three sons also attend. My colleagues come from all over the world, Australia, England, America, South America, and Holland. There is a combination of woman and men, Caucasian and black African. There is a lovely mix and Dutch and English spoken between people. A true melting pot of culture.

The assignment for this week is to analyze my interactions with the different people around me. This class has confirmed that I have been correct in the way that I communicate, in the sense that one adapts to different cultures. I know that when I speak to Japanese parents my communication is very different to when I talk to Latin American or Greek parents. By individually recognizing and adapting ones communication to suit different cultures I believe it shows respect and cultural awareness.

When I interact with the Japanese families at school I am aware to speak softer and quietly. I do not use too many hand gestures and always speak slowly. To bow one’s head is a sign of respect I tend to do that when I have an exchange with them. Each culture has different nonverbal gestures or actions that they use when communicating, it is important to understand them as they can be easily misinterpreted (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

I feel that it is important to communicate with respect for one another even if that means creating a third culture (Beebe, S. A, Beebe, S. J, & Redmond, 2011). There are colleagues that are closer to my culture, which is a more relaxed and outspoken culture. These colleagues I can be more casual with and less formal. When I am chatting to my Latin American colleagues they always greet with one kiss and some of my Dutch colleagues that are friends will greet with 3 kisses. The American like to hug hello, while formally with Dutch (even from a very young age) you shake hands. Age also plays a role in communication and the way that you speak to someone. I am more respectful when speaking to people that are older than myself.  When I talk to my Australian colleague who is younger me the interaction is much more playful and a lot of joking and laughing. This week’s reading has reinforced the importance of understanding other cultures and how we can learn from them and become effective communicators

          (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012). I think the more one gets to know and truly understand other cultures the better you can communicate with them. Humor is another important factor in cultures and we all have such different forms of humor and what is acceptable and not. By being able to predict someone’s culture we can ensure that we have appropriate communication with them and find common group to relate to one another (Vuckovic, 2008).  I find it essential to understand the background of the learners, their families and my colleagues that I work with. I knowing their background I can ensure a meaningful interaction with appropriate communication.

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

You can tell a lot from Nonverbal Communication

This was a fun assignment and very interesting to say the least. I always felt that body language and non-spoken communication can give us a very clear indication of peoples emotions and feelings. I have a colleague that I work with and although she is very friendly and smiles a lot I could tell from the moment that I met her that there was a lot going on in her in life and that she great burdens. I later found out that that was true to say the least.         

I choose to watch a Dutch day time soap opera, I had a good excuse now! When I first watched the episode and having the sound turned off I was far more focused on the body language and gestures between the actors and actresses. The series is called “Goede tijden, slechten tijden” (translated as “good times, bad times)

Non-verbal communication has the ability to give a powerful message without the need for words (O'Hair & Wieman tell us, 2012). On the flip side of this non-verbal communication can be misinterpreted. 

What do you think the characters' relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

The scene that I watched had a female and male in a hospital room with a woman lying in the bed. I watched closely and felt that the two were very concerned and seemed to be arguing, the female seemed angry and frustrated and the male much calmer and not as worked up. The person in the bed just slept so there was no communication or emotion there. The female touched the man’s shoulder and gazed into his eyes, he did not touch her back and looked down to the ground, almost in shame. I felt that they were lovers and she was sad and angry about something. He looked remorseful and ashamed. I could not work out what the link to the person in the hospital bed was.

I then watched the scene with the volume on, I was able to put the pieces together and see where I had misinterpreted things that I had observed without dialogue.

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I was right that there was a romantic connection between the two but I was wrong to assume that she was angry and he was remorseful. In fact they were talking about the person in the hospital bed and she was very emotional and he was as sad but showed it very differently. It was not clear in the one episode but I think that they were somehow involved in the accident that caused the persons hospitalization. There were of course more scenes that I watched and some I interrupted more correctly than others.

I realized that because I was not familiar with the show, characters and storyline it was challenging to read their body language and make predictions on their body language and behavior.

I think if I had done the same exercise with a show that I was familiar with that I would have been far better in interpreting what the storyline and interactions were about. I would have been able to use previous information and recall my memory about the show to link to my predictions on the scenes I watched (O'Hair & Wiemann,  2012). 

This exercise made me realize how much I depend on people’s dialogue and also how things are said as appose to text messages where you can also very easily misunderstand messages. I feel that body language and gestures convey a strong message and one needs to keep this in mind when dealing with families and especially families that may not have English as their first language.  I will remain dedicated to open communication and effective listening when it comes to parents, keeping in mind that parents have their family and children and the core of their interest (O'Hair& Wiemann, 2012).     

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

A competent Communicator

As we have read and what I fully believe is that in order to a competent communicator one needs to not only master the required skills but it also needs to come naturally (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).  Good communication  needs to become instinctive and intrinsic.  I feel that when someone can communicate well and efficiently it inspires people to achieve their goals and aim high.

Quite a few names came to mind when I thought of a good communicator that I knew. The one that came to mind first was a teacher that I worked with many years ago that later became a close friend.  She had the ability to communicate with ease and clarity. She had a presence about her that made people comfortable.  When ever she addressed people she knew exactly how to set a tone and engage people into a conversation that would lead to good communication and desired results.  She was confident without being arrogant and always willing to listen to others ideas and questions. She had such a good balance of humor and seriousness, compassion and efficiency. I personally have problems with being direct with people if I do not agree. I don't want to offend anyone and so I tend to be too passive. I hope that this class will give me the skills to be more direct in my communication with others.