Non Violent Communication
I
generally try to avoid conflict as much as I can, however there are often times
where you can’t. Last month I was in a
staff meeting and we were discussing adopting a new math curriculum. I am
fairly new to the school so do not know the history of the previous math
programs that have been tried. When I made a suggestion based on a scheme I had
taught in the past I was spoken to harshly by a colleague who had obviously had
a negative experience with the same scheme. Immediately I went into shut down
mode and felt very offended. After having read about Nonviolent Communication I
can see how my response, or lack of I should say, is not effective. Instead of
being so offended I should have merely asked her what was troubling her and why
she felt that way towards the scheme. The
key to Nonviolent Communication is to define one another’s needs clearly before
engaging further. Had I asked my colleague what her experience had been and tried
to learn from her instead of taking offense and shutting down, I may have
resolved an unnecessary dispute. After having asked clearly about why she felt
that way I should have then taken the time to tell her how I felt and my
reasons for supporting the math scheme. By using an “I” statement I could have
told her “I have a positive experience with this scheme and would like the
opportunity to share it in this meeting.”
I
feel that many conflicts are due to misunderstandings with one another (O’Hair
& Wiemann, 2012). I am not a big fan of social media and although I do
enjoy the convenience of communication now days, I also see the threat of
miscommunication. With instant messages these days there are often things that
are read in the wrong tone and misunderstood. We have a parent’s group chat
that has caused a lot of issues at school, due to these reasons.
I
think that I also am guilty of often assuming things based on emotions and
previous experiences, rather than asking for clarity from the person I am
communicating with.
References
The Center for
Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication.
Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication.
New York
Hi, Amanda
ReplyDeleteIt was so easy to relate to your experience. I have experienced many situations that I looked back on and said ,"why didn't I speak up instead of just shutting down." According to(Conflict Resolution Network, 2015), everyone has distinctive viewpoints and their viewpoints deserves to be respected and considered in order to complete the solution. No one should be afraid to share their opinions nor should they have to apologize because their ideas are different than someone else.
I feel the same way about social media. There is a TON of miscommunication from fake news, to not really understanding someone’s sarcasm or tone. I know that I am also guilty of assuming based on emotions, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I get hurt by words easily. Great post!
ReplyDeleteAmanda, I hate disagreement too and I try to avoid conflict but like you said sometimes you just cannot avoid it especially working with adults with different opinions. Sometimes I cannot help but speak my mind and if not careful, it will not come out good so i try to be calm and use low tone to explain myself as much as I can and sometimes I walk away and then come back after I get myself together.
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