Building Team and Collaboration

Being an expat family we have lived in different communities and been part of different school groups. In the International schooling world there is a big turnover of families and teachers alike. The school is often a safe haven place for expat families to come together and many different groups are formed. While teaching I have always been part of some group or another. Often a group of the same grade level or a work group regarding a particular subject or topic at the school. The most recent group was the group of festivities. We would make sure that every festival and holiday was recognized and celebrated.  I have had to experience many adjourning stages in the different groups that I have a part of. Either I have left the school or members of the group have left or changed groups.

Usually the adjourning stage is the disbanding of the team when the task is achieved (O’hair&Wiemann, 2012). I have also experienced groups breaking up before the conclusion of the task was reached. It felt easier and more natural when the conclusion was reached and we could embark on the adjourning stage as a closure to the project. Often when living abroad your connections with colleagues are stronger and closer due to a lack of your own familiar circles and support. These groups can therefore often be closer and more intense. I found it hard to see members leave when they had to move on.

During the process of this project there is a norming stage where the team starts to work cohesively together with respect and support (Abudi, 2010).  Not all groups work together cohesively, so when you find a group that does it can be hard to see it break up.  

When I taught in Amsterdam, before I had my children, I was part of an amazing group of teachers. I was leader of an early childhood team and we all contributed with passion and enthusiasm. We had so much respect for one another and I can say that I have ever experienced that kind of cohesive atmosphere in another work group since. Even though ti was 13 years ago we have managed to keep in touch and often have inspiring conversations that motivate me as a teacher. Even though I had to say good bye physically to this group I have managed to keep in touch informally.

I do not like goodbyes and closing off things but I do feel that they are good for closure and moving on. The most recent I experienced was when I left the compound we lived at in Indonesia. The compound was no longer going to have expats working there and was closing the school down after 50 years. They made it a beautiful celebration of time and history. They celebrated the local staff that had worked there for many years and also the got in touch with people that were young students there in the 70’s. There was a lot of good food, music, dancing and festivities. I plan to write an entry to say good bye and thank you to all my fellow students that been such a support throughout this course.

The adjourning phase is something that needs to be taken seriously and not skipped over. The leader of the group needs to keep this mind and make sure that this phase is done properly. Closure is important for everyone.

References

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved on February 10,     2014 from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Non Violent Communication  

I generally try to avoid conflict as much as I can, however there are often times where you can’t.  Last month I was in a staff meeting and we were discussing adopting a new math curriculum. I am fairly new to the school so do not know the history of the previous math programs that have been tried. When I made a suggestion based on a scheme I had taught in the past I was spoken to harshly by a colleague who had obviously had a negative experience with the same scheme. Immediately I went into shut down mode and felt very offended. After having read about Nonviolent Communication I can see how my response, or lack of I should say, is not effective. Instead of being so offended I should have merely asked her what was troubling her and why she felt that way towards the scheme.  The key to Nonviolent Communication is to define one another’s needs clearly before engaging further. Had I asked my colleague what her experience had been and tried to learn from her instead of taking offense and shutting down, I may have resolved an unnecessary dispute. After having asked clearly about why she felt that way I should have then taken the time to tell her how I felt and my reasons for supporting the math scheme. By using an “I” statement I could have told her “I have a positive experience with this scheme and would like the opportunity to share it in this meeting.”

I feel that many conflicts are due to misunderstandings with one another (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012). I am not a big fan of social media and although I do enjoy the convenience of communication now days, I also see the threat of miscommunication. With instant messages these days there are often things that are read in the wrong tone and misunderstood. We have a parent’s group chat that has caused a lot of issues at school, due to these reasons.

I think that I also am guilty of often assuming things based on emotions and previous experiences, rather than asking for clarity from the person I am communicating with.

References

      The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Looking At Myself As A Communicator

This week was a real eye-opener for me. I enjoyed doing the tests and having to answer brutally honestly about the way that I communicate. I chose my sister and my mother to do the test on me. They were concerned at first on how they should answer and realized that some of the answers they did not know about me – like public speaking. I feel like I had the opportunity to look closer at how I interact with others and how they perceive me. I have always been aware of the importance of a first impression but there is a lot more to communication that follows. I feel that I have gained a lot of insight into myself and how other perceive me. I plan to have a colleague do the test as well, but we have just moved school buildings and my colleagues are so over worked at the moment. I feel that I gained good insight into communication and also how other perceive me as a communicator.

I also realized that first impressions are very important and that is something to take into account when meeting new families. Practicing effective self-monitoring (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012). 

It surprised me that my sisters scores were all slightly different to my mothers, I realized that I do communicate very differently with her – she is my little sister and I have always treated her more like a daughter than a sister. My goal is to be more confident in communication when it comes to things that I may disagree with or may be a source of conflict. I am always very aware of offending someone or causing bad feelings. I need to find a balanced way to communicate my differences with others without insecurity. I also realized that I am a different communicator with my family to how I am at work. I adapt to the situation and communicate accordingly. Through self-presentation one can present themselves to different audiences (O’Hair&Wiemann, 2012).

         

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.