Evaluating impacts on professional practice

Describe in detail the consequences you might expect for the children and families with whom you work while you experience specific "–ism(s)" in your own life. Include specific examples either those you have and/or are experiencing or ones you would anticipate.

This is a very real experience that many educators and caregivers can experience. Life is sadly full of prejudices and people that judge and criticise those that are different from what they know to be “normal”.  I can tell of a true story that happened over 20 years ago when I first taught at an International school in Holland. I was a young girl from while girl from South Africa and teaching in a very wealthy International school. There was a black family that came from South Africa and I taught their young daughter. I was very excited to have the familiarity and same nationality in common as it was not common at the school. From the moment I introduced myself I could tell there was a strain in the relationship and even thought I was friendly and open, and liked by all the parents, these parents held themselves back. I had no idea what the issue could be so I made a special effort to make time for them and made sure that I communicated openly and frequently with them. It became very clear to me that there was an underlying issue that they were not prepared to discuss with me. I asked my superior at school to meet with them and share with them what and if they had any issues with me.

It soon came out that they had issues with me as a white South African and the history of apartheid and their own feeling towards white South Africans. I was completely shocked, especially since so much time had passed since apartheid regime and that we were already in our 2 decade of democracy then. If they took the time to ask they would know that I was a huge fan of Mandela and that my own father was under how arrest for teaching black children in the townships in the days of apartheid. I noticed that their adversity towards me made the little girl very closed towards me and afraid to for a relationship or trust with me. It was a long and difficult struggle for me and being young I took it personally. I wanted to prove myself and I wanted them to know how my family were freedom fighters and how I was anything but racist. I wanted them to know that I fought for black equal rights and that I believed that all children were entitled to quality education.

In time I was able to convince them of my good and honest intentions and Afundi, their young daughter and I built up a very special and unique relationship based on trust and honestly. We learnt from one another and I also learnt what drove her parents to feel the way they did initially. It is important to walk in another man’s shoes or at least stop and try.

Observing Communication

When I prepared to write this blog I realized that I often observe communication and interactions without intentionally doing so. I find it fascinating to see how people interaction and respond to one another and the different types of communication they have.
On this particular day I was standing in the queue at the supermarket and there was a mother with her young son in the trolley in front of me. The line was long and the little boy was getting restless, he started to take snacks off the shelves next to him. "I have told you not to touch those things" said the mother, noticeably annoyed. "But I am hungry and it's taking so long" said the boy in a very tired voice. "put it back!" snapped the mom under her breathe. She turned to apologize to me. Surprised I answered "Please do not apologize, I have 3 young sons and I know how boring shopping can be for them, and how tempting all these treats are here.". She seems embarrassed and worried what people around her were thinking. The little boy again took something off the shelf. She spoke sternly under her breathe this time. "You are embarrassing me, you are not a good boy today and next time you can stay home instead of coming with". The little boy began to cry. 
I could see the mother was trying to keep things together and was obviously irritated by the waiting in the line and perhaps preoccupied with other stresses or issues she may have. 
 I feel that the mother did not take the time to hear the little boy and actually understand that he was hungry and tired. One needs to always affirm children's feelings and listen with meaning to what they have to say (Laureate Education, 2011). 
I felt as if the mother was too worried about what others around her were thinking and less about engaging in a conversation with her child that was obviously not happy. I feel that she could have been more receptive to his needs, not necessarily giving him the snack but acknowledging that it is a long wait and reassuring him they will go home soon for a healthier snack  (Laureate Education, 2011). 
I feel that it is important for adults to stop and take the time to listen to what children are saying. It is essential for them to feel listened to and have their opinions respected

(Laureate Education, 2011). 
We all communicate and talk in different ways and children are no different in that

(Stephenson, 2009). As a teacher and a mother I am always making sure that I go onto a children's eye level and really hear what they are saying. There are times when I am tired and less patient and this can more challenging but generally speaking I am committed to listening to each and every one and respond in a way that validates them and supports their learning and development (Dangei &Durden, 2010). 
I am far more patient with my learners and children that are not my own. I feel that I need to be as patient with my own children and make sure that I listen to them clearly, even when they are whining or complaining. There is always a message or something that needs to be communicated but often children do not know the appropriate way to do it. We have to guide them and model the correct behavior. 

References:

1    Laureate Education, Inc. (2011).  Strategies for working with diverse children:                         Communicating with young children.  Baltimore, MD: Author

      Stephenson, A. (2009).  Conversations with a 2-year-old.  Young Children, 64(2), 90-95.
      
      Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 74-81